Consensus

Dictionary.com tells me that the meaning of the word consensus is: "general agreement or concord; harmony".

Today was a day of seeing "consensus" (or maybe sincere consensus seeking) in action, and I am inspired and blessed.. hope you don't mind me sharing a couple of details of my day with you...

There was a Bethany student today who learned some very difficult news from his family at home right before chapel. After the worship singing ended, the student shared the news as a prayer request with the students and faculty gathered for chapel. An invitation was given to come forward and pray for the student, his family, and their situation. It was beautiful to watch the 'consensus' among the students as they instantly responded with one heart of love and care in response to another's difficulties. The whole room flooded forward and encircled the hurting student. The unity; the consensus was moving.

Our church family had a discussion tonight about women in leadership, a topic that can be divisive and contentious. The purpose of the group discussion was to determine consensus on the congregation's thoughts on the subject. What a beautiful idea, to come together to discuss and discern together! There were opportunities and encouragements for every opinion to be heard and there were round table discussions. The harmony was real, and the result was a decision that genuinely represented the conclusions of the group present ... not any one person present.

I'm sharing these because I realized today how profoundly consensus is required in daily life and how rarely it is sought. It takes time to think things through, to consider the others in our lives, and genuinely move in a unity and peace seeking direction. Often decisions are made in the interest of convenience more than consensus.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Things are always interesting, no week is like the one before.. We had a flu pass through the house this week... I - Kelly- got it for sure, Brendan was 'grazed', and the kids have so far been fine. I had a sick day from work, which means that I will definitely finish the week feeling like I've accomplished too little. I had my first haircut at the salon in Hepburn, and discovered that their great reputation is well deserved. Bren's been tired from his spontaneous trip to Caddy Lake last weekend, between that and the newness of his job, he's tried to have lots of rest this week. We also had parent teacher interviews.. nothing was a huge surprise there as we had spoken to the kids teachers a couple of weeks ago, just to check in and see how the year was going so far and how they thought the kids were adapting to their new surroundings. It's interesting how we can see similar patterns throughout our kids' school years; some things just don't change from year to year or even school to school.
At a seminar somewhere, I remember making note of the concept that people should 'play to their strengths' rather than try to build up their weaker areas.. On the surface, that seems kind of backwards, but if we embrace the concept of well rounded teams vs. well rounded people, it comes into clearer perspective. We need to work to consistently improve our strongest areas so we can accomplish what we're meant to (which is not everything); but if we get tied up working on areas that don't come easily, that's a challenge and we become drained. If we focus primarily on the areas where we're naturally adept, I think we come away stronger and energized; fuller and more capable. Obviously, we can't ignore our weak areas, but we can put our best efforts into our strongest ones. Some parts of school life are going to be hard for each child; but other parts will be much easier.. As a parent, I need to not make such a big deal over the areas where O and Syd aren't as strong, and I need to really celebrate whatever areas they're strong in.
Now that I've put it in print and hit 'post', maybe I'll get better at it.

A Mother's Heart

So, I went from feeling like I had nothing to say for a few weeks to posting every couple of days... I guess thats the way it goes.
Owen played in his first volleyball tourney as a Hepburn Hawk today... still # 14, like he was for Garden City and Sinclair Park! I watched three of the five games they played in Waldheim today, and it was intense at the end! It was awesome how the kids on the team were supportive and encouraging whether they scored a point or lost one. The teamwork spirit was more evident than I've observed on other teams O has been on, that is such a gift. Coaches always say "... it's about the fun; it doesn't matter if we win..." - but the kids always see through those words if they're not genuine. Unfortunately, O has had a couple less than genuine coaches over the years, it left an imprint on him. It left an imprint on me....!! That brings me to what I've been reflecting on today; how my heart and my kids' hearts are so connected and wound up together. I'll admit that I was a tad more emotional today than most days, but watching my kid in this intense game just about did me in... not because I care if his team wins or loses, but because I'm so acutely aware of the feelings he's having and the thoughts in his mind. I know how he internalizes pressure and how he processes the plays ... This is just one of the many things about being a mom that isn't in the manual, and you're never prepared for the depth of it before it happens.. a mom's heart and her child's heart don't really forget each others rhythm, I guess....
(their team did win the tournament, I should mention that..)

Hepburn Horse Lovers

Okay, we want to tell you about horses in Hepburn. Well, not all horses in Hepburn, just two really special horses: Prairie and Crackerjack.
Today we went out to feed two very special horses and one is three the other is 26 (very very
old) and i (syd)rode prarie(the older one)we fed them hay and oats, we have two saddles and I (abby) am very exited to go on trail rides with sydney and jamie (my other friend) me,sydney and jamie might train cracker Jack (the younger horse) he gets very frightened of every thing,
he is the newer than prairie, I have had prairie for a year and a half and cracker jack for two months and I have already have bond with cracker jack.
Me and sydney have such a good friendship she makes it her job to call me every single day
what can I say, I can't help being loved so much.
from the hottest girls in hepburn
abby and sydney

Success!

You know how busy families are always trying to make things work better, find balance, keep everything in tension? Mostly, it doesn't happen.

Mostly things are messy, disorganized, and frazzled.. chaos really is the order of the day in most households... except some rare occasions when the planets are rightly aligned...

Tonight was one of those rare occasions- for about 30 glorious minutes, I felt like I was managing it all. Not only adequately, but .. WELL. I baked up a great meal, even fed some of the kids friends, and the food was healthy. There were happy sounds coming from Owen downstairs and more happy sounds coming from the singing and dancing show being performed by Syd, Abbey, and Jamie in the living room. Brendan was running around, list in hand, working on some projects. There was no fighting or conflict anywhere! In the midst of this household full of bliss, I was also feeling like I had had a very productive day at work - two big projects crossed off my list this afternoon. It was a wonderful moment.

Alas, my normal state of feeling simply adequate (often inadequate!), behind, messy, chaotic and disorganized has returned. And you know, I think that I'm glad superwoman/supermom only shows up every once in a while... its hard to have good hair, healthy food, happy kids, and a clean house all the time!

Here is the recipe for the fabulously healthy meal I prepared. I'm sharing it because:

a) its fish, and everyone should eat more fish.

b) my sisters all read this blog and we each have 20 lbs of pickerel from our dad in the freezer.

c) four children devoured this meal. Owen had two helpings, the girls had three each. That says it all!

Greek Baked Fish

2 lbs haddock or other fish fillet (I used pickerel)

2 tbsp lemon juice

seasoning salt

2 tomatoes, diced

3 cloves of garlic, minced

3 tsp dried oregano

2 tsp olive oil

1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese

Preheat oven to 350. Lightly grease 9 X13 pan. Place fillets in pan, sprinkle with lemon juice and seasoning salt. Sprinkle with tomatoes, garlic, and oregano. Drizzle olive oil over the tomato topping. Top with crumbled feta cheese. Bake for 35 minutes, or until fish flakes with a fork.

Enjoy ...

The little things... Thanksgiving, part 2

We're so often reminded to savor the little things, the quiet things, the things we so easily take for granted and neglect. It's hard to make the time, but so necessary and refreshing when we do.

Celebrating thanksgiving yesterday, I was surprisingly and refreshingly conscious of a "little thing" - literally and figuratively. My niece, a toddler (she's little!) has been a source of so much joy over the last couple of years, but she has also been a source of greater understanding and a frequent reminder stop and enjoy, to pause instead of overlook.

First, a little history; this little girl is the daughter of my youngest sister .. (though our relationship sometimes seems more like parent and child than sister and sister.) I had the privilege of watching this little one make her dramatic entrance into the world, and it was one of those enriching experiences that stays frozen in our memories for a long time afterward. There were some complications right at the end of delivery, and for days after I was in a daze of wondering "did that really happen?" and realizing just how delicate and precious life is. She came close to not having life, maybe that is why she is often such a wonder and joy to me.

Fast forward to a few months ago, I was making mad preparations to move away from the same city as my sweet niece, one night she had a sleepover at our house. Instead of being sleepy at about 10pm, she was a chatterbox, so we had a great little visit; she showed me her eyes, nose and ears, pointed out the window at the lights next door, showed off the animal sounds she knew, and caressed my face in that wonderful toddler-fist kind of way. I was so blessed by those moments with her, I felt renewed for days afterward in the midst of many tasks.

Yesterday morning in church, I had the chance to stand and sing worship songs with her in my arms - poignant because this is what I did on so many Sundays while we went to the same church - and she graciously allowed me this treat with more chatterbox antics, request for "mo, mo, mo" when the band stopped playing, and little fists wiping away auntie's sentimental tears.

I don't know why its so easy for me to be an over-looker, so busy chasing my own tail and missing out on much wonder and tranquility in the little, quiet things ... but I want to get better at pausing.

Thanskgiving

Expressions of thankfulness abound at this time of year; its only fitting that we express ours....

Here are a handul of the things that I'm thankful for:

A faith that led me to a surprisingly real relationship with God. It's the thing I am least deserving of and most grateful for.

A plan for my life that isn't entirely dependent on me.

A close family that brings "being real" to a whole new level.

I did some quick searches for Thanksgiving thoughts this morning, here are a few results:

***Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action. ~W.J. Cameron***

***We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder***

Also found some conflicting details about the origins of American thanksgiving;

1. Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for - annually, not oftener - if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians. Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man's side, consequently on the Lord's side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and extend the usual annual compliments. ~Mark Twain

2. At the beginning of the following fall, they had lost 46 of the original 102 who sailed on the Mayflower. But the harvest of 1621 was a bountiful one. And the remaining colonists decided to celebrate with a feast -- including 91 Indians who had helped the Pilgrims survive their first year. It is believed that the Pilgrims would not have made it through the year without the help of the natives.

And a final thought:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. ~Melody Beattie

Happy Thanksgiving!