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Ever wonder why the title: Never the Same Page? Brendan and I started the blog together, and what is the truest thing about us? We are almost never on the same page about things. We are as opposite as opposites get. TomAto, TomAHto... but we decided a long time ago not to call the whole thing off :)

Monday, February 11, 2008

... ahhh, community!

I noticed that one of my Facebook friends recently had the status; "Liza is thinking about community... what does it really mean?" I've thought alot about community, especially when I taught the Sunday School class about it last year at KPAC ... we humans are strange creatures in that we crave community like crazy, and simultaneously put up all sorts of walls and electric fences to prevent it from truly happening in our lives.


We're part of a small group through our church, and I know we're blessed to be part of this little community. Last night, we watched the video in the series we're studying, and while I have no real problem with the video facilitator, yesterday I was just having a real struggle to connect his generalisations with my experiences. It's been a rough go with the kids lately, wonderful as they are, and there just isn't a lot of respectfulness and obedience happening at our place. I was hearing (and the video may not have actually been saying this, but its what I heard!) that there is this easy formula of loving parents creating stability and boundaries which results in responsible, respectful kids. I sat there quietly with this inner angst about it, and when someone actually invited me to participate in the post-video discussion, I about spilled over with this frustration I had been trying to keep inside! I felt like the speaker was making it sound oh-so-simple, and it just isn't! And it was safe to let my frustration spill out ... because I was in a safe place of real community. And it was good to 'let it all hang out' and feel not judgement, but support.

I experienced community again with my friend Sheryl today at lunch today as she allowed me to spill it all (and more!) again... community, especially true, loving, challenging community, is a great gift. I'm not sure we can get where we're meant to go without it.

I later talked to another coworker, who challenged me to reconsider some of my struggles, and then to my sister, Lorrie ... and each little piece of 'community' helped me to feel safe, cared for and provided real insight and wisdom. (and no one just said what I wanted to hear, but they somehow knew what I needed to hear!)

I'm thankful to be in community with people who remind me of what I can so easily forget or overlook.

And I'm especially thankful to God, who is sovereign over it all, and who doesn't stop forgiving me for being as frustrated and forgetful as I so often am. What 'community' does best of all is point me to Him.

A side note:
Owen noticed this little toy in one of my clothes drawers tonight, I've kept it safe for several years. It was perfect timing for the tangible reminder I needed.


This little motorbike was Owen's FAVORITE toy at Grandma's when we'd visit there. We'd regularly go for Sunday dinner, and my little toddler-genius would walk in the door and run for the box where the toys were kept and dump it out in search of the 'geen bike'. Then he'd keep it with him all night, standing it up by his plate while he ate. And then we'd try to remove the bike from his tightly clenched, grubby, ketchup-y fist and he'd insist on bringing it home. To which we'd remind him that there were only a few toys at grandma's, but LOTS of toys at home; so the bike had to stay at grandma's. (he was our first child, so, yes, we did try to reason with a toddler!) The bike would be left behind, and the whole scene would be played out again one week later.

Somehow, the bike did eventually end up at our house, and somehow I put it away in a clothes drawer for safekeeping. I'm glad O noticed it today, and I'm really glad to remember my sweet little boy playing with sweet little toys.

6 comments:

Sheryl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sheryl said...

That's a cute story about Owen!

I liked how you pointed out the fact that people put up walls and fences in order NOT to have people get too close. We are such weird, contradictory creatures. I think, though, I'm managing to find some sort of balance with that and I'm glad that you are a definate, strong part of that balance :)

Anonymous said...

S: I like being involved in anything that promotes balance! K

Anonymous said...

I love the geen bike story!
I disagree with the comment that you can't reason with a toddler. Maybe cause it's my first child as well but I would say you can't ALWAYS reason with a toddler... it is possible sometimes.

Kelsie-Lynn said...

I agree with you that I didn't so much like that video we watched on Sunday. It made it sound so simple and in my short bit of life experience its just not that simple. Glad you felt okay to share...its what we are here for and you didn't lose your mind.

Sweetheart Fanny said...

It is wierd how that after only a week of being in a new class do you feel excepted, but it takes a year or so for others t really become part of the class comuunity. I'm really glad that
Hepburns communtity doesn't work like our Junoir high Communtity.

There. I posted something.Happy